fall, where art thou fall?

  Fall is a beautiful time of the year, where the trees turn to a crisp brown, red, orange,and yellow ,and fall to the ground in a beautiful slow and gracious dance.  The air is crisp and cool, and apples are for sale everywhere.Pumpkins cover porches, and scarecrows stand guard. The corn stalks are tied, and lean against the stairs, and you walk slowly, and breathe in the fresh air, wearing your green cotton sweater, a turtle neck, a comfortable corduroy skirt, and beautiful brown boots. You feel like twirling around and around, looking to the sky of deep blue, and enjoying the masquerade of falling leaves.... but wait.. that didn't happen yet!
  Sometimes the things we deem perfect are not what God has planned. In my own "perfect" dream, I would have been married a month after I turned twenty, and had a house to care for, and perhaps by now have a baby on the way. I would be shopping for food and clothes the family needs, cleaning house, making bread and roast for my hard working husband. But God said that it was not time yet. Sometimes waiting can be hard. I love summer, it is one of my favorite three seasons (sometimes,winter is too cloudy and lasts too long !lol! But if it :) ) but the changes of the seasons, that is my favorite. I like to watch the snow melt and the birds congregate in the trees and "chat" about who is going to live where or how their trip was (perhaps they have a worship service too! lol!).  The warming of the air, the flowers and sounds of the summer, then , the colors, gentle cooling and quietness of a blue skied fall,  when the earth prepares to rest. Then of course, I like the signs of winter. the air gets colder, Christmas comes,and everyone decorates and goes shopping! (I think I will keep my decorations up all winter in my home, perhaps that would lighten the mood :) )
   This year, fall is coming slowly. The air is till pretty humid and warm, and rather cloudy. But soon, I know, fall will come. I just need to enjoy the now! :) 

  Keep on enjoying your season, because the seasons of life change, and in life, they don't go around again :)
  

trusting with an open heart.

openness with our family is an important part of practicing for our future life as a wife. trust is an important factor in our relationships. do you trust your parents? some don't, some do. the key to trusting your parents is  first step for some: tell them everything. Don't be afraid to tell them your thoughts, feelings, interests,  time you were way, when you were surfing the web. everything.
      never lie to your parents. this will start a wall of separation from your parents. never keep secrets either. eventually as you "leave out" something or "tell a little lie" , you start to make it habit to keep your life a secret.
    this is a slippery slope ladies. God gave you your parents to be protectors and guides, best friends,leaders and confidants that are with you until you marry. starting to lie or leave out information now, will likely cause you to do the same in your future marriage. this secrecy will ruin the gift of marriage, and rob you of the blessings God had for you.
     How can I begin to communicate after i already lived this way? you have a tough situation. your parents may not trust you now, but you can earn their trust. begin now. when they ask you what you did on your lap top, tell them you read this article, and what you learned from it. tell them that you are sorry for the lies.  tell them you understand that you have to earn their trust again, and that , with God's help, you will try to be more open, and not keep secrets or lies anymore. they may not believe you, depending on how serious the situation. but most parents will likely be very happy and suprised at such a change. but one thing. make sure you change. make sure you change. without change you will have little effect and rob yourself of the joy God had in store for you.

          Remember, God sees everything,and he knows your "secrets".  ^{Numbers 32:23;}"But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out."

Gracious ladies

  "a gracious woman retaineth honor..." Proverbs 11:16 a. Are we gracious women? in our day of age, girls are not taught different speaking patterens than boys. many girls, including myself, use slang words, like "sick" or "sad" or "that rocks" . perhaps you have heard girls say "dude" , "idiot" or "bogus". None of these are good enough for a good godly woman to use. why?
      1. Just because a man says certain words, does not give t woman freedom to use them. men always had their own more vulgar language. I have been studying the Japanese language for some time now. in Japan, women have a nicer speech  than the normal one, and men have a more vulgar one. curse words should never be used by anyone, don't get me wrong.  but words like dude, or perhaps idiot have a place, but not for a Godly woman.
       2. The Bible makes it clear that there is a distinct difference between men and women. men are the protectors and providers, and women are the helpmeets. men may need to use a more vulgar language at times to defend you. woman have no need to use a vulgar language.
      Then what kindof language is appropriate language for women?
    well, lets pretend this is a grammar class then, it will be easier to understand. 
     here are the rules of the female language, (at least what i believe sounds feminine)
       1. words that denote a form of stupidity should not be used.
             i.e. idiot, stupid, dummy, retard, 
            rather, you should use pity in your expressions toward the foolish.
           Exapmple:  
                   That idiot passed me on the right!
               to fix it, we should omit idiot, and replace it with a kinder phrase.
                   that poor foolish man will hurt himself if he drives like that. he is blessed to not have 
                     been injured!
       2. correct word usage should be on our tounges.
           fix this sentance: i woulda been better at that if i practiced more.
             use instead:       If i had practiced, I would have been better at that. 
       3. use of the words should have, would have, or could have, can not, would not or should not as opposed to should've , would've or could've, can't,won't, or shouldn't sound far more feminine and intelligent.
               ex. I should've been there! I can't believe I missed it
                  -or- i should have been there. I can not believe I  missed it.
      4. the proper use of the word have has and have give a more feminine connotation.
                example: I can not believe i missed it!
                                 I can not believe i had missed it!
       5. we should avoid slang like "man", "dude" or "o boy", and replace them with more gracious words, like dear, oh my, or o dear,
          example: Oh boy! I'm excited
                       Instead: oh My! I'm excited!
                          -or- Man! what were you doing?
                        Instead : oh dear! what were you doing?
     6. use of slang like sick., sad, or retarded should not be used.
                      ex.  that is sick!
                    instead: that is not right!
                       or : that is so retarded
                        Instead: that is not wise!
                     or :they don't have it, sad!
                          instead: they don't have it, too bad!
     7.   lastly, a list of good feminine phrases
                oh my!                 wonderful
               would have           could have
               should have          goodness!
                oh how silly!         very nice
             that is good           poor foolish (man, woman, child)
              oh, the poor lost soul
           

    let us try some on our own! copy the section below and paste it to a word program document, then print it!(or print this page!)
     Rewrite the sentances below to sound more feminine.
    1. Dude! what is wrong with you?


  2. what's that?



  3. that stupid woman! she shouldn't have done that.


4.   oh man! I can't believe it!


 5. excuse me, why can't I do this?

  


  Answers:   1.  dear, what is wrong with you? , 2. what is that (was that) ? 3. that poor foolish woman, she should not have done that.    4.  Oh dear! I can not believe it!  5. excuse me, why can I not do this?



      Hope you enjoyed this!  -delighted daugher
   p.s. , it also helps too speak in a sweet soft voice, but loud and clear enough for people to hear and understand you.  be considerate, and you should do fine!



           


                             
   
                 
 

lies women believe part 1

  Think of the many lies christian women are lead to believe:  "clothes don't matter, once saved always saved." or "Real women have careers.", "femininity is weak!", "Music doesn't affect me", "flirting is a necessary evil", "Men have Low IQ's" , " I should go far away to school so I can learn how to live my own life","You can have multiple boyfriends and get the guy you think is cute's attention because you are not married." , "I have to make difference and prove myself" , "I can't prove myself while i am unmarried unless i get somewhere in a career.", Lastly, "I can be a missionary to a foreign country in my twenties until i get married"
   These are modern philosophies that especially women are taught.  Women need to be extra able to care for themselves in case an emergency happens, at least that is the message I hear. In fact, if you don't do that, people may be lead to think that you are oppressed, indoctrinated against your will, or old fashioned and useless. I hear it all the time. The strangest thing is, that people always tell you to do what you want to do with your life, but that does not include "learning to be a homemaker". That is already taught you, or suppresses you from your potential, perhaps it even can be done when mommy makes dinner and you watch sometimes. She learned it on her own after marriage, why can't you? there just has to be something or some kind of goal and outside activity going on up until you are married. It is, in fact, true. But how can one do that while preforming within the sphere God gave us? 
    1. We must know the sphere God placed us in. Women are Men's assistants. that is what God made women for. That is God's perfect plan and purpose for women! Their domain is the home. just read the beginning of Genesis and Titus 2. The purpose for women is defined there. it is further added to in Proverbs 31: A domestic entrepreneur! she works, yes. To be rich? no. to get a nice car? no. to benefit yourself?  while it does in fact benefit you, i have to say , NO! a "home business" is meant to benefit your home and to benefit the people of God.  read proverbs 31! She gives help to the needy! Through her work, she helps her home, and makes a good name for her husband, or in our case, her father!
    Getting out of the house will be touched up on in a future post. Sayonara sisters!

What if?

  Many a person worries about the welfare of their children as they grow up. "what happens if My daughter never gets married?" or "what if her husband or father dies?" , These are legitimate questions that need appropriate answering.
    for question #1, The Bible is our final authority.  Look at these statistics: In 2008, 29.4% of men and 22.7% of women ages 18 and over had never married. - U.S. Census Bureau. “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2008.”  (source http://www.unmarried.org/statistics.html)
   Or:
"The percentage of adults who are married
declined between 1970 and 2009, from
72 percent to 62 percent for women and from
84 percent to 66 percent for men. In 2009,
15 percent of women and 20 percent of men
had never married, compared to 7 percent and
9 percent, respectively, in 1970. "  Source: http://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/rss_viewer/Women_in_America.pdf
     " Historically 85-90 percent of Americans eventually marry. Ninety percent!" (source
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001325.cfm)

  While the rate of marriage did decrease, it is still only approximately a 15-20% chance that you won't get married. This also is only partially true, because this is general America, not christian culture: many women , while they never marry are in "dating" relationships, as a sinful cohabitation. i
Click here to go to an article referring to the "deficit" of Christian men to women.

so that first question is answered: Christian woman are very likely to get married, perhaps not at age 20 (unfortunately), but they likely will eventually.It comes down to trust in God. God has the ultimate plan for the Universe, and for every individual in it. whether you decide to wait for God's best, or decide to "do it on your own your own way", God will make it work, but in the second case, not they way He intended or the best way.

   Question Number 2 is a tricky one. many woman are left widowed in our country. according to Boundless, (see click here article above) the number of widows to widowers is 4-1 in christian circles. now, what age are these widows?
  "The U.S. Census Bureau puts the average age of widowhood at 55." (source: http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/23161.htm)
    So, this If it happens, will likely happen when the woman is older, and has children to help care for her.
  This is how it was intended to be in the Bible. I believe that a daughter or son should take in an elderly parent(s), this is a way of repaying them for all they did for you, it is also a biblically sound model portrayed by Ruth and Naomi in the book of Ruth.
    God does not plan for anyone to be outside of families, alone. The only group of people I find in the Bible living on their own unmarried men. take a look at Paul, or Jacob. Still though, they lived with or near families most of their Christian or Jewish lives.difference: They cared for themselves. Paul Made tents to sell, he made his own money, even while serving God!
    Now back question #2: what about if their father dies? Girls, Don't be without some kind of skill that can make money from home. now, the only mention of women being alone is widowed or divorced women, not unmarried. But even then, many a girl moved back to her father's house (mentioned in Leviticus). Why can't a daughter help the wife of one of her Brothers? or , perhaps, assist her unmarried brother in his mission or vision? she would make things to sell or what not to earn extra income for herself and his home, But she certainly should not be alone, especially in her youth (twenties).
     Perhaps she can move in with a family from the church who has a bunch of little children and needs a hand. this is not only providing a home, but reciprocating a service to the poor tired wife! 
       These are some simple answers for the few tough questions. The summary of the whole page is really Trust God, keep His commandments, and follow His ways, and He will lead you to hope.
        
   
    

Super Hero

  Recently, well, it really depends on how you view "recently" (it was two whole summers ago..) I went to Disney world with my Uncle, Aunt, and cousins as a graduation gift. it was fun. the reason why i mention this is, while I was there I bought each family member a gift, and I bought my daddy a cup that said "you are My hero".
  Is your daddy your hero? Mine is! He is always there for me!If i need someone to talk to , I can talk to him; If I need someone to take me Places (even if he doesn't particularly enjoy the activity), he brings me.
    On my part though, I am no hero. (or heroine, or whatever I'd be) . Are we as open to our daddies as we should be? They are our spiritual protectors! Do they Know what we have been reading or writing about? What God has been teaching us?
      Now, I don't suggest you get into arguments with him.  To be submissive,  while arguments do happen sometimes, it is our job to avoid them. God teaches women to be submissive, therefore, when we speak, do we speak graciously and without fire? (fire not as in spiritual zeal, but anger.) We should talk to him as he has authority. One would never argue with a boss, or a superior with an angry tone, so we should not argue with our God given authority in a angry way either.
    Some daughters have the struggle that they do not see eye to eye with their daddies. The Bible, while it teaches submission, doesn't say we have to actually be in total agreement with every minor conviction. An example would be contemporary vs hymn music. The Bible doesn't speak very specifically on this topic,so it really doesn't need to incite an argument. Now, if  there is a difference in opinion on whether or not a sensual song is okay, it's not, Because the Bible says it is wrong to dwell on such things, or to Give the devil a foot hold. Even in such situations, a godly daughter must not angrily reply: it turns off the listener. Now,  Expressing your concerns in a kind , gentle way, that works. Perhaps you can talk to Him privately if something he does is bothering you (if, like I said, it is definitely un scriptural, ), then approach him kindly and say something like this : "Daddy, i was worried about you, because when you listened to that song in the car, it was very sensual. It was talking about things that are not pure or true or virtuous, like the things Paul reminds us to keep on our Mind in Philippians 4:8. can you not listen to that , at least around me anymore?"
   It is sweet, presents a biblical point, and does not go outside of submission. You are not telling him what to do. You are just telling him how you feel. This can well apply to married women too. If he continues to do the thing you talked about, Just pray for Him, God will deliver him. Remember too, that you are not perfect, and you have flaws yourself.
      Let Him also talk to you about things without getting angry. In Proverbs, it tells us How we are to submit to our parents, and one thing it says often is to accept correction. When daddy tells you that your dresses are too immodest, don't stomp to your room and slam your door and cry about how daddy only wants you to wear feed bags. that is not accepting correction.  Accepting correction would be not wearing the outfit in question anymore, and re evaluating your modesty standards.

 Now, getting back to the main point. My daddy Is my hero. He is my night in shining armor. I want to respect Him in all the ways I can and help him to be the best hero he can be. I can help him best By respecting his opinions and convictions, assisting My mother in the house hold to help it run smoothly, and being kind to my brothers and sisters,and babysitting so they can have alone time. Lastly, I can  Help him By challenging him.
   This is best for wives to do. Again, it is the way I mentioned above, a sweet, godly, and submissive way.
  But this time, it is a challenge. Again, you are not telling him what to do, you are just presenting a goal he can try for. An example of that could be for the Husband who doesn't have time to pray. You can encourage Him with a challenge: "Honey, I was thinking lately. you don't seem to have time to Pray, But perhaps, maybe you can just take a half hour at night to do it. I can take care of things, and the  bedroom will be left alone, so you can focus. Would you like to try that for a month and see if it makes a difference? "
    Once again, sweet, submissive, But to the point. That is what women were created to be: submissive, and assistants to their husbands or fathers so they may be the best heroes ever!

Stay at home daughterhood: is it in the Bible?

  The truth is, I am not a full time stay at home daughter,I have a job at a local pizza store for 8 hours a week. it is hard to figure out exactly how to apply stay at home daughterhood. while there is freedom in the Bible to live as a stay at home daughter through different applications, I often find myself and people wondering about my social abilities and laziness that could come about through "being home" all the time. personally, I can see why.I have a history of complaining and sitting around doing nothing. I want that to change. Currently, I am in the "early stages" of stay at home daughterhood. My time is spent now on trying to figure out where it is found in the Bible. My family is very theological, and often has discussions in which I have a hard time backing up my points. this is the reason why it is important to show exact backup for my points from the Bible. People want to see me telling them from the Bible, not just from so and so's reasoning .(not that it is wrong to read books on the subject: i am a advocate of such things!)
     Truth #1- In the Bible, women stayed home and were commanded to be taught to be "keepers at home". Isn't it amazing how silent the bible is on unmarried women? it says "young women", which people always take to mean  "wife". It does not say "wife" though?does it?  My sister points out that the Greek word (used in Titus 2 verse 4) generally means "woman" and could mean old, or married, or young woman, or just plain woman. the verse before it, which says older "women" also is the same word. Perhaps the Greek word is general. But when we say "woman" in English, it also can mean any of those things. ("the woman down the street" could be old, or young, or married, or unmarried...etc) but by translation, throughout multiple translations, including modern ones like NIV or ESV, "young" or "younger"woman is always used. Why not "wives"?  I looked at Bible gateway at many translations, I even Google translated the Chinese verses in Titus 2, and still, it says "young woman". many of them say "admonish" or "train" or "teach" all of these skills to them. it is a little late to "teach" someone or "train" someone for something they already have to be able to do, wouldn't you say?
     Truth # 2- the Bible never really mentions a "godly woman" who went out and made a life for herself. Dinah went out of her house and went out into the town: She was given to fornication. there is nothing indicating she was raped. this happens to many women who go out to see "the daughters of the land" (worldly friends, worldly entertainment etc).  Jezebel also wanted to make a name for herself: she was said to be an evil woman.  many people come to a few contradictions with these thoughts.
     Firstly, they recall Ruth. the Girl who worked in the fields and randomly came across a relative. well, first, she collected donations, she had to "go out" to get them, but she did not work for wages as a man would. she did not get a job. she accepted donations. she was protected by Boaz, now, this did happen By Grace,but one thing is true, she was donated to, and was protected under the Biblical laws of gleaning. after she found her kinsman, she did not leave his protection. later, she married him.
   next, they may recall the women who followed Jesus. they were all married, but "wondering about" with Christ. they were like female missionaries. these women, though traveling about, were ina feminine role. they did not teach or preach, but they prepared him food and care while he was around. they also came from somewhat unbiblical situations. one of them was possessed by demons, the other was the wife of Chuza, who served Herod,(if Chuza really loved Christ, would he not leave that high position? perhaps his wife had been persecuted and she needed the safety of Christ to protect her)  Susanna is the only one that we do not know much about. But in general, things were different While Christ was on earth, in the New Testament, men were told not to leave their wives for long periods of time (1Corinthians 7:5), But the disciples, some whom were married, traveled all of the time. these are not contradictions, but things which needed happen during this time to teach the people God's plan of salvation.
     Fact#3: The idea of women leaving their homes for a "job" is not condoned in the Bible, But a woman working from her home is, and is in fact, encouraged (proverbs 31).

   Does this mean a woman can never go outside her home? NO!
  It means, in general, her Job is her family.God gave her that job, While God gave men the job to provide for their families physically, spiritually, and emotionally. men is any male, married or unmarried, and woman means any woman, married or unmarried. God is a God of order, he does not give commands for unmarried men with married men, and not do the same for woman.
   are you not married? Not in the Business of raising children? Serve your mother and father. help with your siblings. assist a new mother with her child and house work. you can get out and do things, but in a different sphere. go grocery shopping for mom, be a hostess to your neighbors by having them over for dinner and some fun. we are living Bibles. Have tea parties with ladies at church in your home or their homes. there are lots of social opportunities! (you can even write a blog as a ministry where ministry opportunities are limited.lol!)
   Remember too, that when it comes to marriage, you will not likely meet your husband in the world. the best place to find a drunkard is a bar, and the best place to find a godly man is through ministry. get involved in a church if one is available to you.My family is trying to find a godly Church now, but for now, the only opportunities for ministry is in My home. but I know God has perfect timing, and one perfect man for me. he will bring him to me in his timing, no matter where! so going to church and having godly friends is important!
 
  Titus 2 also says that we are to live this way so that the world has no reason to blaspheme God. That is a big assignment!
    So remember, it is a Biblical command. How we apply it may vary, but it must be applied, with all dilligence!

God Bless!
-Delighted daughter